The Fear of Regret

Remember to Breath | Issue No. 5 | Author: Oro

Through early childhood and into my teenage years, I remember having had some peculiar power, which, in my present awareness and perspective, can easily be described as a “kid-still-pure superpower”. It was the superpower to consciously not regret anything.

I can still vividly remember having a deep lasting insight that regret is just not possible. I remember the thoughts (or lack of them) that ran alongside of my actions, giving me the confidence to know that somehow I must have known why I had chosen to do or not to do something, otherwise, it wouldn’t have happened; knowing the very fact of it happening proves that it was the right thing to occur at that time, therefore there was no point to regret anything. It was as if all my deeds were guided by some higher power, and I trusted and surrendered to it completely.

Then I lost it. Maybe this rings a bell and you are remembering you had it too. And maybe, like me, you’ve lost it too. This is all too common. It is observable every single day in the way kids are brought up. All of a sudden, the spark in our kids’ eyes is deeply suppressed and replaced by a hollow shadow of a doubt, echoing the unuttered and unfathomable questions: Am I good enough? Am I worthy? Do I have what it takes? Am I lovable? Will I survive? I believe these to be the effects of socialization, the very process modern society is based upon, in which, from a very early age, we are robbed of our authenticity, inner light, and the deeper connection with one’s true Self – our superpowers.

This shady emotional energy is a fertility farm for regret, and we enter adulthood through its front door totally unaware of its detrimental mechanics. All of a sudden, we unintentionally begin to identify as the doers, the causality of our destiny. And when the results are not in alignment with our wants and doings, we suffer and see them as mistakes, filling them with guilt and shame.

The good news is that, by simply becoming aware of what has happened, the dissolution of the inauthentic and false identities is already taking place. Ironically, adulthood in this sense is the path back to our origin, our center, our higher self – back to what we’ve always been and always had, but got covered by socialization.

I now understand the origin of this so-called superpower. It is here, omnipresent, and available to everyone at all times. It precedes everyone, every identity, every thought, every breath, and we are somehow born out of it and into it simultaneously. It is impossible to describe it with words, because it can only be felt, and yet here follows an approximation as to the mechanics of it, for what purpose does a superpower serve, if it is not practical in daily living:

• Contemplate and find one of your regrets,
• Open up to it and wait until you feel something wherever in the body,
• Allow any sensation or emotion to arise and just be with it completely until it transforms into another or passes,
• Now see that fact, the thing that happened, which you feel regretful about,
• Realize that it has already happened the way it did,
• Accept it as a fact and surrender to it completely, you cannot deny it,
• Again, allow any sensations or emotions to arise and just be with them completely until they pass,
• Embrace the fact as the path to expansion – this IS your path because it DID happen the way it did. It did not happen TO you, it happened FOR you.

This process can yield even better results if guided, so if you are struggling with regret and feel called for some help, reach out to us – that’s what we, the DCC facilitators, are here for.

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